Tipsy Cake Recipe

By kind permission of Janet & authenticated by HD Rufus

Ingredients. Half a pound of butter A bag of flour A cup of sugar Four large eggs A cup of dried fruit One teaspoon of baking soda One teaspoon of salt The juice of 1 lemon Some nuts A small glass of whisky

Method.
1. Taste whisky to check for quality.
2. Take a large bowl.
3. Check whisky again. To ensure that it is one of the highest qualities, pour one level cupful and drink. Repeat.
4. Turn on electric mixer and beat in butter. Add one spoon tea of sugar and beat again.
5. Make sure whiskey is still ok. Cry another tup
6. Break two leggs and add to the bowl, chuck in dried fruit. Fix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry loose with a drewscriver
7. Sample whisky again to check for tonsisticity.
8. Next sift two cups of salt - or something. Who cares?
9. Check whisky.
10. Sift the lemon and strain your nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown sugar or whatever colour you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven.
11. Taste whisky and turn the cake pan to 350 gradees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw bowl out of window.
12. Sample whisky again and bo to ged.