The real meaning of life:-16 rules for a dog to live by

1. The best sofa in the house is a dog's spiritual and actual bed. The dog should lie on it as often as it can and in such a way that no human can sit on it.
   
2. The area between any open door and the frame is for the dog to sleep.
   
3. The sitting room carpet is there to be used as a doormat and a napkin.
   
4. The entire inside of the car belongs to the dog.
   
5. The dog has proprietary rights over all pheasants, the only creature on earth generally acknowledged to be dimmer than itself.
   
6. It is a dog's duty to chase anything with fur and four legs to the ends of the earth and then to refuse to return. The sound of a whistle is a signal to run in the opposite direction.
   
7. All animal droppings are interesting and some are more interesting than others, but all are worth rolling in.
   
8. A river is for jumping in, especially if fishermen are nearby.
   
9. A dog should shake itself dry when it is inside, not outside, the house.
   
10. There is no such thing as bad food.
    
11. Supper can be supplemented by tearing open black bin liners outside neighbouring houses.
    
12. Starvation can be abated, sometimes, by the dog resting its head on the lap of a dinner guest.
    
13. Television remote controls are acceptable substitutes for bones.
    
14. Thunderstorms are signals that the world is coming to an end. Humans should be warned of the danger by a rolling of the eyes, uncontrollable trembling and panting.
    
15. Even on the driest of days, a dog is obliged to find a puddle to walk through, before returning home.